THE STEPFATHER ~ "For Gods Sake! Why are you running up the stairs?"

Few people seem to remember the original 1987 thriller The Stepfather. Fortunately for all of us, I do. What seemed like an interesting choice for a remake was, to put it mildly, not. Here's a hint: if you are going to remake a movie that unfortunately few remember--at least make it as good as the original, because you're about to unveil the previous film anyway. In the 1987 version, Terry O'Quinn plays the family preying psychopath in hiding much more effectively campy than Dylan Walsh in the recent 2009 remake. However, that does not even remotely touch on what is wrong with the film in the first place... but it certainly doesn't help.

It is amazing how much wet and shirtless, underwear hanging just off the bridge of the torso, sexual teasing this film does with newcomer Penn Badgley. He plays older son Michael who's home from military school only to find that mommy (Sela Ward--apparently in sad desperation for acting work) is engaged to a strange new daddy. Now that the threadbare plot line is taken care of... back to sex. Why didn't the film use the built up sexual energy to its advantage? Make the stepfather a pervert for gods sake! We have no inkling of his background or why he feels the need to butcher up one family and move to the next. There is no plot suggesting he was molested by his father, no hapless mother trying to break Elizabeth Taylor's record of most marriages... no nothing! Thankfully Badgley is a glimmer of hope and keeps the film somewhat interesting. I can most certainly see longevity in his career and rightly so.  

All of the above can easily be choked down by an audience member looking to pass the time with a cardboard thriller (we've all been there). But what cannot be forgiven is the inept final fifteen minutes of the movie that abruptly unravels like a poorly constructed afghan. It is essential for a film of this nature to have a good payoff. What should have been suspenseful is not. As ALL the characters wind up climbing into an old-fashioned pull-down attic, we spend the rest of the sum-odd minutes realizing we just witnessed the ultimate of all reason's why we have screamed at the screen of horror movies for years--"For God's Sake! Why are you running up the stairs?!"

Shouldn't we have learned our lesson by now?

GRADE: D